ScaryMary

Success!

2008-01-31T17:51:00.000-08:00

Yes! After seven months and six days (but who's counting?) paying my dues as everyone's office bitch in Admin, I am now officially moving on up in the world. I got a wicked temporary job offer on Monday, pending my current supervisor's approval, of course. However, my boss got super pissed and has been avoiding this other person (who's quite a bit higher up in the hierarchy, but at a different location) all week, because the later she speaks to them, the later she can make my start date. Even so, they managed to finally track her down today, four days later, and I'm officially starting my dream job in 2 1/2 weeks.

I'm so ecstatic, and fucking scared out of my mind. I mean, I did a course for this job, as a prerequisite to even applying for anything in this line of work, but the course was theoretical, and the job itself has a massive practical component. Anyway, I sound all shifty because I don't want to reveal where I work/what I do on the Internet ... whatevs, if I know you in real life, and you don't know my damn job already, I'll fucking tell ya, okay?

So yeah, I can't wait. It's also a huge pay raise. Like, so huge that I'll be making nearly twice what I make now. Well, actually I guess it's more like 1 1/2 times what I'm making now. But I would have done it even if it meant taking a pay cut, so that's just an unexpected, but very welcome, bonus.

What does this mean, my friend(s)? Heh. It means I'M GOING SHOPPING!!! Months of frugality, and penny pinching, and even avoiding Tim MotherFucking Horton's, due to lack of $$, is now done. I need some spiffy clothes for my spiffy new job. Oh, and you know what? I ain't buying $40 jeans, my friend. If I see some awesome jeans that cost $150, I will totally buy them.

Wow, I'm feeling pretty damn happy at the moment. Let's see ... got engaged, moved to a new home, bought a nice car, got my dream job. It's been a pretty fucking fantastic winter, if I do say so myself. You are now free to hate and resent me. And ..... begin.

Money, Money, Money

2008-01-11T12:25:00.001-08:00

So it's been a big time of transition for me. In the last two months, the following has occurred: I got engaged, I moved into a new condo that my hubby-to-be and I bought together, and last week I bought a car. Well, technically my parents paid for it, but I'll be paying them back, very slowly, each month. And since I already owed them many tens of thousands for my student loan, what's a little more right? Heh. I am so far in debt right now, I can't adequately describe it. Basically, the majority of my paycheque goes directly to the fiance (for the mortgage, strata fees, bills and groceries) and to my parents (to help pay off my student loan and car). Oh lordy. I worked it out the other day, and I am left with approximately $300 a month. That's including cigarettes, gas, and any shopping/entertainment/eating out. So pretty much: nothing. I can't afford shit. It's depressing, it really is.

I mean, this is supposed to be one of those awesome times in my life: I'm getting married in a few months, I'm a homeowner for the first time, and I actually have a car from this decade (as opposed to my 95 civic that is, by the way, for sale if anyone's looking). Unfortunately, I can't afford my lifestyle. The main problem is that I'm not making the kind of money I should be making. Seriously, I have a degree, I'm fucking TRILINGUAL, and I'm a super hard worker. What gives? It's just frustrating to be in a job where I know I could be doing so much more, and where I know I deserve to make more money. So if anyone out there knows of a good job, hook me up.

I feel like my life is bipolar sometimes; so many wonderful things happening in my personal life, but professionally I just feel frozen. I just don't know what to do.

Naughty, Naughty Girl

2007-12-26T14:30:00.000-08:00

Yes, it has been approximately 4 weeks since my last post. What can I say? December is the month from hell for me, always has been. There are ... 5 birthdays in my family this month, including my own. Several friends also have birthdays in December, and of course the celebration of HeyZeus takes up a lot of time, even if you aren't Christian! So, I've been busy. To the 2 (estimated) people who actually read this blog, I apologize, and will buy you a drink to reward your loyalty to my insanely scattered brain.

Anyway, this year the fiance and I spent our first "holiday season" in our brand new beautiful condo. I am completely in love with this place. The kitchen is gorgeous, everything is fresh and new, and his friends cannot gain entrance through the back door, because we're a few floors up, phew. The place is a bit of a disaster zone, still, 3 weeks after the big move. We're lazy, what can I say? Though, really, all of MY stuff is nicely put away; there's some weird shit I don't even know about sitting around, and of course about 4 boxes of electrical wires. This is what happens when you decide to spend your life with a computer nerd. Sadness. I wonder if he'd even notice if I threw all the wires away ....

So now that Xmas and all that jazz is over, I'm trying to prepare for New Year's. Here is the problem, which everyone faces every year: to stay in, and have people over, or to go out. There's benefits and drawbacks to both. When you stay in, you don't have to worry about getting home, spending money on/finding a taxi, crazy drunk drivers on the road, that kind of shit. But you have to clean, both before and after the party, and be a good hostess with lots of food and some beverages for your loved ones. When you go out, you have less pre and post party worries, except for getting home, as previously mentioned. Personally, I really enjoy having my friends over. MY friends. Not the fiance's friends, and some of them are annoying and unpredictable. But my friends are awesome, and I love having company. We bust out the karaoke - which is ALWAYS good times - and drink, and laugh, and eat shitloads of deliciously unhealthy appetizers.

I put some feelers out about having a party this year, but sadly most of my friends either haven't replied, or have already made plans. And now I don't know what to do! I really want to have people over, especially because our NYE party last year was perfection. There were 10 of us, which I thought would be lame, but we all got shit-faced and sang karaoke until 3am, almost missing the midnight countdown even, lol. Is it so wrong to want to relive such good times?

SNOW

2007-12-03T12:09:00.001-08:00

When I was younger, snow was awesome. Seriously, you got a free day off school, you got to play outside with your friends ... good times.

Then I turned 16, and got my license. And snow became my evil yearly nemesis. Seriously, I drive a tiny hatchback that weighs less than I do (well, practically), and my "all-season" tires don't seem to handle bad weather at ALL. It's gotten to the point where I start worrying about snow at the end of summer, and don't feel any peace of mind until the next March. It sucks.

I work 50 kilometres from my home at the top of a mountain, people. It's not a pleasant drive under the best of conditions; this winter, I'm freaking out about it.

Yesterday, while we had our little blizzard, the fiance and I had lunch plans with some friends who are visiting from out of town. So we walked. Anyone who knows me knows that I am quite the princess sometimes. I just don't walk. Especially when it's cold and snowy! But it was the only way I would consider getting to the restaurant. You couldn't pay me to get in a car if there's snow coming down, because even if the roads have just been ploughed, what will happen in an hour?! So of course being out in the cold snow helped to get me sick, and now I can't go to work today.

On to pleasanter topics (and yeah, I'm pretty sure "pleasanter" is not technically a word) ... Friday was our engagement party. Well, the first of two, at least :) I was super nervous, because the fiance's family is small and somewhat conservative, especially compared to my loud, crazy, obnoxious peeps. But it went well.

The fiance's parents stayed until after 1am, everyone danced (including the fiance, who NEVER dances), and our families seemed to get along much better than I would have expected. To say I was surprised would be an understatement, but hopefully this is just a first step, and we can continue to build on this. I'm very close to my family, and hope that will also include my future in-laws.

The last thing I'm going to mention in this meandering post is the big move. Six days until we pick up and head to the boonies. I have packed two boxes so far. I don't know how to pack up an entire home; my mom always did that, and I was just responsible for my room. How do I time the packing of the kitchen so that we can use it all week, and yet have our shit together? So difficult.

When It Rains, It Pours ...

2007-11-24T17:30:00.000-08:00

Ooooh boy. So much is happening in my life right now.

First things first ... the wedding. We managed to figure out a date for the family engagement party that suits almost everyone (except for my maid of honour and one of my 3 bridesmaids, boo), so I'm happy to be able to stop worrying about scheduling that shit. But I'm bummed that 2 of my dearest gals, who are like sisters to me, can't be there. Oh well. They're coming to my fun, FRIEND engagement party in two weeks, haha.

Speaking of that ... so, the fiance and I put our condo on the market, and have been waiting to move into our new place that we bought out in the burbs ... well, further out in the burbs. Anyway, we got an offer yesterday, so we thought we'd call up our new place and find out our completion date. December fucking 6th. Yeah, thanks for the notice, people. So I'm going to try to start packing tonight, because we have less than 2 weeks to move, are planning 2 engagement parties, have my birthday, and a shitload of other things going on.

But I've been saving my best news for last, because I think I'm just being too crabby, when in reality I'm super happy about all the awesome things in my life, it's just that it's stressful when you have so many life-changing events happening at the same time. Anyway, I think we've found out a location and date for the wedding. The place is GORGEOUS. It's affordable (well, as much as wedding venues are, haha). It's literally in our new backyard. No, really, it is. I'm so happy. I'm taking the fiance to look at it tomorrow, after our inspection at the new place, and then we'll put down our deposit, and officially have a wedding date.

Holy crap, this has been an insane eight days.

Blerg

2007-11-19T21:01:00.000-08:00

Well, the honeymoon's over. No, everything's still great with my fiance. The real problem is my family. They are making it virtually impossible to plan anything. I can't have my wedding in July, because one of my brothers is going on vacation with his family. I can't get married in September, because my sisters live out east, and they want to come out in the summer, and combine my wedding with their annual/bi-annual family visits. Basically, when everything is said and done, I'm left with three dates in August, and the odds of finding a venue I like at a price I can afford on those days is dwindling...

The more pressing issue at the moment is the engagement party. I'd like to have it in December, because one of my bridesmaids lives in the States at the moment, and will be back for a month to visit. And of course I want her to be around for as much of the big stuff as possible. But, of course, my family is just so busy with their all-important lives that my engagement party takes a back seat to everything else. The party should, ideally, be on a Saturday, but it can't be on the 1st or the 8th due to my brothers. I can't do it on the 15th due to a good friend's birthday party that night. So I'm crossing my fingers that everyone in my family, and everyone in my fiance's family, is free on the 22nd. Otherwise I'm shit outta luck.

People fucking suck sometimes. It'd be nice if my family put me first for once. Especially right now.

I need a vacation. *sigh*

Mission Accomplished!

2007-11-18T02:17:00.000-08:00

So, it's finally happened. And it's everything I hoped it would be. I am now, finally, OFFICIALLY, engaged! And it's fucking wonderful. I cannot wipe the goofy grin off my face. I feel like a 6 year old who has magically managed to combine Christmas Eve with Groundhog's Day, and like every day is going to be super awesome. Though that might have something to do with the face that I'm utterly in love with my ring. Like, to the point where I stare at IT lovingly, instead of my fiance (but I dig him, too). It's a blissful place to be.

So, even though that should be an adequate excuse for not visiting my own damn blog in over 2 weeks, I actually do have another explanation. Our computer died (RIP, 4 year old Toshiba; you lived a good life). It was awful. It just .... went dark. Like, while I was using it. So not only were we computerless (which is every bit as horrifying as it sounds!), but my fiance not-so-secretly thought I might have done something. But I didn't. I'm sure of it. Almost one hundred percent sure ...

We have now got a new computer, also a Toshiba. It's kinda of like buying a new puppy when your old dog dies. It's cuter, for sure, but the old one just knew what to do. I have to train this baby all over again.

And that is why my blog has been utterly neglected. Oh, and my dog ate my homework (I feel that is a universally acceptable excuse for just about anything).

Manic Monday

2007-10-29T17:38:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I don't know about anyone else, but I get the Monday blues. Every week. It starts Sunday evening, just before dinner, and lasts until about lunchtime on Monday. Please note how time relates to food for me.

Anyway, I've decided to try and look on the bright side, so here's my list of things I like about Mondays, in no particular order.

1. I like that the weekend is only going to get closer and closer.
2. Three shows: The Hills, How I Met Your Mother, and Heroes.
3. There is less traffic on the drive home than on any other weekday.
4. When I walk around with a grumpy frown on my face, people don't judge; they're too tired to notice.

Okay, that's it. Kinda sad, huh?

Attention Span

2007-10-25T20:10:00.000-07:00

What's happened to my favourite reality shows? It used to be that I would be riveted during shows like Survivor, America's Next Top Model, The Hills ... Yes, my crappy taste in shows is astounding, but that's off topic. What I'm trying to say is that I've really lost interest. Case in point: I'm writing this during Survivor. It's on, in the background, but I'm not paying much attention. I kind of look up every once in a while, but I just don't care anymore. I don't even know all of their names, and we're several weeks into the season! Contrast that to Kelly Clarkson winning American Idol ... I was crazy-invested in that. I mean, I think I cried when she won (but I was in my early twenties ... and maybe I had PMS).

So what I'm trying to figure out now is whether the shows have decreased in "quality", or whether I may just be *gasp* growing out of it. It's so sad because I want to care about my shows, and I can't. I don't have the attention span for it. Tyra's gone from dumb-funny to dumb-annoying, and if I'm cringing instead of laughing, I'm obviously not having a good time. Seriously - have you heard her fake French accent? It's downright offensive. Hell, SHE is downright offensive. I mean, ANTM is supposed to be silly, frothy goodness. This season? The theme is RECYCLING. Hey Tyra: Al Gore called, and he wants his cause back. You're a fucking ex-supermodel. Please don't bullshit me with this environmental kick. Don't force young girls - some away from home for the first time, most extremely anxious and stressed out - to quit smoking. Ever heard of being an example? Go do that, but don't fucking force it upon others.

That is not to say that I don't care about the environment - because I really do. But let's call a spade a motherfucking spade. Tyra, honey, you are not now, and never will be, Oprah Winfrey. So just shove it, lady.

Blasts from the Past

2007-10-24T19:36:00.000-07:00

I've always found that my friendships go in waves ... not of all of them, but there's those people that you somehow lost touch with at some point - maybe after high school/college, maybe when you changed jobs or moved - and then you run into them years later and pick up right where you left off. I've had two such experiences lately.

There's this one girl I went to school with years ago, from elementary through high school, who I reconnected with over the summer. I always thought she was a lot of fun, but we weren't really close growing up. I was such a goody goody, and she was (and, really, still is) a bit of a bad ass. But this summer, we added each other on facebook and it's been great. We decided to meet up for an early dinner a few months ago, and ended up sitting around for a few hours, smoking and chatting, just having one of those conversations that's half in the past, half in the present ... such a great night. And from there, we've just started hanging out, double-dating with our guys, going shopping, chain-smoking ... It's really nice when you reconnect with someone you had completely lost track of, only to discover that your differences now complement each other, if that makes any sense to anyone out there but me. Anyway, it's pretty cool. She just moved into my neighbourhood, so we get to see each other pretty frequently, and I think this time we'll stick it out for the long run.

My second experience is a little odd. I've known this girl for years, but we were never really friends. We had a few mutual friends, we'd see each other once in a while at a party or something, and I always thought she was really cool. But we just weren't friends. I ran into her at a play last month, and we had a nice little chat, and did that whole "Oh let's get together sometime" spiel, but we meant it. I really wanted to get to know her and become her friend (yeah, I know, I sound like an eight year old now). Anyway, we met up for dinner tonight, and it was great! We sat around for about an hour after the bill was paid, just chatting and laughing and getting to know each other better.

See, I love that. I think my favourite thing to do is just sit around with a couple of people, drink coffee, chain smoke, and shoot the shit. It's even better than shopping. I guess I'm just feeling lucky for the great people I have in my life - old, new, and rediscovered. I used to be one of those people who had a lot of acquaintances, but never felt very close to anyone. I grew out of that a couple of years after high school, and I'm at the point where I can count my close friends on my fingers. But I can count on those people. Like, if something ever happened and I needed someone there for me, I'd have that. It's such a nice feeling. I think it's important to not take anything for granted, and I hope that I never, ever take my wonderful friends and family for granted ... okay, let me clarify: I'll still bitch about them when they deserve it (especially my family), but I'm really lucky to have some very cool people in my life.

Buying the Bling

2007-10-23T22:01:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I've been with my guy for ... oh, just shy of seven years now. We're very happy, we're in love, we're a great match. But there's a snag, because there always has to be a snag. It's unfortunate, but that's just life, right?

Anyway, I've been ready to get married for a long time now. A very long time. He, on the other hand, is content with the way things are. We have almost broken up over this issue a few times.

It always goes the same way:
Me - I can't take this anymore, I'm ready, and I'm sick of waiting for you.
Him - Well, that's just dumb. Go marry some guy for the sake of getting married, and then I can be your second husband.
Me - You're such an ass.

I leave, and the following exchange takes place 3 - 7 days later:
Me - Just let me know it's coming sometime in the not-too-distant future.
Him - It's gonna happen, just not sure when.
Me - Okay, I'll just sit on my ass for another six months, at which time one of two things will happen. We'll continue this ridiculous cycle, or we'll be engaged.

Now, it's starting to look brighter, finally, although I have my doubts. I'll get to that in a minute. In the last few months, not only have we started seriously discussing marriage, but he has said that we will for sure get married in the summer of 2008. We've even picked out a ring. And boy oh boy ... I fucking love it. It's a gorgeous ring. Now, I generally like small classic pieces of jewellery, and this sucker's pretty big. But I don't give a rat's ass, because I love it and my guy has agreed with me.

So about my doubts ... Sometimes it feels like he just tells me what I want to hear. He'll appease me, try to ride out the fights, and then things will eventually return to their normal state. What if that's what's happening here? For all I know, he could never want to tie the knot, and he's just going to hold on to me as long as he can before I give up altogether.

That's a scary thought, though, so I'm trying to remain positive. I mean, I know it'll happen - despite my fears just a paragraph ago - but I wonder why it's taking him so long.

So we can just add Bridezilla to my list of attributes now ...

Blog Virgin

2007-10-23T21:42:00.000-07:00

All right, so bear with me here, because I don't even know what I'm doing. I think maybe I was on the cusp growing up, where we had computers in school, but I didn't even learn how to use the internet until after I had graduated from high school. And now I sound like an old lady.

Anyway, I suppose I was inspired by a few factors here, leading to the creation of this brand-spanking-new blog.

First off, a good friend of mine that I recently reconnected with (thanks Facebook!) has one, and I find it really interesting to read. I thought to myself, you should do that sometime. So I'm going to try it, but knowing me I'll forget all about it in a month's time.

Second of all, I'm one of those people who overthinks all the damn time. Like, I overanalyze every single detail of every single thing I encounter each and every day. It's pathetic, and very frustrating, so maybe it'll be healthy to "purge" myself, so to speak, every once in a while.

Finally, I'm such an opinionated little bitch. It'll be nice to just say whatever I want, and pretend that I'm always right (because, really, I think I am).

So if you're reading this, thanks for coming by. I hope you enjoy my blog.